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When vampires were still cool they turned into bats, controlled wolves with their minds and slept in satin lined coffins dressed to the nines, but then those skinny jeans wearing poser vampires came along and made the whole vamp thing totally lame.
Vampires are creatures of the night, they shouldn’t be all sparkly and emo, and they certainly shouldn’t be going around trying to knock up unwitting teenage girls who love their awesomely styled hair and the way they play baseball.
Old school vampires need to get out there and show the new generation of twilight dwelling bloodsuckers that they’re the originals, and the price for being a poser is an afterlife full of taunting and vicious name calling.
Show the world you think sparkly vampires totally suck with this Vampire Poser t-Shirt by Mike Jacobsen